iSwenie*03

It has really put me teary-eyed the thought of having good signs from Him.. It’s just that all the things that I ask for is given to me in a clear and good manner. I don’t really know how to thank Him, or if my gratefulness is enough to express how I really feel.. But I do believe that God is good and He will never ever give me something I couldn’t handle.. Thank you so much Lord! I love you! Lately, we have been constantly hanging around and having the man of my dreams around is such a wonderful gift. The time I got depressed last week, I decided to end it all and start to let go.. but then, I had the chance to talk with people and to clear me up with the confusion I was feeling deep within me.. then I asked Him for a sign.. a sign that he gladly gave to me.. it was so shocking for a moment to know that God doesn’t want me to let go of someone I consider so special and I thank Him for that!=) *teary-eyed* Yet all of these things doesn’t just end there.. even in my own prayers, He answers my request.. Last January 19, 2007, I went to the prayer room to pray.. a portion of my prayer says: “Lord, kung ok lang cyo na ipaubaya skn c Miguel.. sana sakin nlng xa..” and the most awesome thing happened, as I took one of those papers that had the verses to be read for the day, I got John 14:13 and it said “And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” It was such a blissful moment!=) it’s as if everything was gearing towards the answers to my questions, my doubts, and my own little issues.. indeed, a wonderful blessing from God and as what my friend Geri has said: “a rare gift from heaven”. Thank you po!!

hmmm.. i was really crazy for laughing out loud when pam, inna and i were at the canteen.. i didn’t notice miguel coming from the malvar gate to our place and i was really laughing out loud! he just smiled as he came and said "grbe, sa malayo pa lang.. bungisngis ka na jan"..

we were "reviewing" the next exam but we kept on chitchatting..

the test came and we answered it for about 20mins.. miguel was the last to finish the test..

we had some peptalk with sr.banico and finally went out to get some snack..

and then.. miguel and i just decided to got to moa and have some joyride.. i didnt know he had a car with him so i was so surprised..

arriving at moa, we looked for the rag that we weren’t able to see at rob last tuesday and had some strolling around the mall.

it was very funny though cause we were always laughing and jumping and going berserk..lolz!!

he dropped me by near our house and then we bid good-bye.. such a lovely afternoon.. indeed, such a nice event to remember and cherish.

first day of midterms today and i never expected these things to happen.. well, miguel and i had lunch together and he went to our house to borrow my book.. uhuh! its so surprising!=) i never thought all of these things would have today.. all unplanned and instant.. but oh well, i guess its just an exchange of what i cried a week ago.. hahah!

and juts a conclusion to make.. i think if you’re gonna let yourself to be sad all throughout your gloomy days, then it will be a gloomy future ahead.. but if you just let go of the hurt feelings then you’ll just see that things will go on its proper place at the proper time. oh sheesh!! i love life!! mmmmmmuah!*

I’ve been laughing out loud minutes before our Philippine history class, and all the things I have reviewed are shrewd off my memory. Sir Banico had given us some minutes to review. Since we were seatmates, it has been a customary practice that whenever Miguel and I talked, we would laugh out with each other and make some “kulitan” and the like. It so happened that sir was observing us and made a comment about it. “Lagi talagang nagkukulitan tong c Swen at Miguel ano?.. ano bang meron?” I was so embarrassed that moment while everybody else were yelling out loud and making “tukso”… “wala lang, napansin ko lang kasi na ang sweet sweet nila twing history class”… still speechless and feeling really nervous Miguel finally said something.. “ano ba kayo sir, wala un…” sir Banico said in reply “wala lang, madalas kasing nagkakatuluyan ung mga tinutukso ko”.. again everybody were laughing and making “tukso. A few moments of silence and Miguel said something.. something that pierced my heart.. “..taken nako ni Lord, sir” Though I was smiling and feeling nervous, deep within me and deep within my soul.. i wanted to cry. It was such an awakening that made me sad after class. I never expected I would hear those words. Not too soon and still so unprepared. It was as if I was cleared off my doubts, my questions, and all the other things that has been bothering me for the past month. On my way home, I tried to stop the tears from falling.. I tried hard.. but when I came to my room.. all alone and dumb folded, tears started to fall.. tears out of sadness and distress.. I was crying so hard because I felt hurt and betrayed. Soon, questions bothered me.. Why did he have to be so sweet? Why this? Why that?? I wished hard that things weren’t that sweet and nice because everything now is clear that he wants to be a priest. He was such a jerk. I was so stupid. But despite all these, I still like the way he is, no questions… no doubts.=c